A new kind of resolution

It seems like everywhere I turn right now I hear about New Year’s resolutions. I find it quite fascinating actually – it’s as though everyone in the western world suffers temporary bouts of amnesia, forgetting that last year (and every year before that) these same resolutions ended up in the crapper two weeks into it. But this year will be different right? You will finally drop that weight. You will finally run that marathon. You will finally learn to speak Arabic, read Moby Dick and knit socks for everyone in your family.

I can’t really judge; I am the worst at making unrealistic goals and then beating myself up when I don’t reach them. The beginning of every year usually goes something like this: In addition to learning a new language and writing the next great American novel, I will magically turn my body into something found in a Victoria Secret’s catalog by denying myself all desserts and anything else delicious. I will also plan to work out two hours a day (if Madonna can do it, so can I), getting up at 4 in the morning so I have enough time.

I end up spending all my time reading magazine articles about kicking bad habits and posting encouraging sticky notes on my mirror (“You can do it!”). I brought bags of celery in my purse to birthday parties and glared at anyone who dared to eat the cake in front of me (“Bastards!”).

Two weeks later would find me sleep-deprived and curled in a fetal position on the floor, clutching a pint of ice cream and with chocolate smeared all over my face.

So this year I’ve decided to stop. the. madness.

I’ve spent the last several months learning to accept my body the way God made it. I’ve ditched dieting. The extra junk in my trunk is going to stay where it is. And I’m determined that my resolution will not involve trying to change that.

Instead, I want to focus on what matters. I want to spend my time doing what I was put on Earth to do: Worship my God with a joyful heart.

But since my heart is rarely joyful, and I have an awful tendency to overdo it (see above), I’m going to start small, i.e., my one resolution is to read the Bible every day this year. The online reading plan promised me I could do it in 15 minutes a day. And I can handle 15 minutes.

What are your resolutions this year? Are they doable?

I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.
Romans 7:15 NIV

I’ve been a little down in the dumps lately. I think it has something to with going back to a work schedule after a week of vacation. Or maybe it’s because my winter coat doesn’t button close anymore. Or maybe it’s because all the sugar I ate over Thanksgiving sent me into a manic high before I crashed face-first into the couch with a week-long stomachache. Whatever. I’m depressed.

So I decided to combat this head-on. I made a plan to outline some positive steps I could take to nourish my mind and body, including spending some time reading the Bible after work.

Instead I came home, opened a pint of ice cream and watched the first four episodes of Gossip Girl. (Side Note: WTF! Why does this mindless drivel exist? Why can’t I stop watching it? And how can Blair and Serena be friends again after all they’ve done to each other! Will Nate ever stand up to his father? Oh, Gossip Girl, how I love/hate you!)

Around 9:00, The Ninja came home from martial arts practice to find me staring zombie-like at the TV and completely unresponsive to his attempts at conversation. He then resorted to mocking Gossip Girl, which elicited a “Stop it!” and “Shut up!” and “You’re stupid!” before I resumed mutely staring at the TV.

Self-discipline, why do you elude me so? Why do you make pretty promises to me about working out and organizing and Bible-reading and then disappear at the most crucial time? Why? WHY?!

It’s official! I had a baby … blog!

After much hemming and hawing, I’ve finally birthed a blog. It’s either gonna be a beauty, or one of those ugly babies that you tell the parents how cute it is to their face and then silently pray to God that it’ll grow into that nose.

My goal is for this blog to be about how I’ve changed since becoming a Christian, and how I continue to change now. And maybe a forum to ask and answer questions about my faith. But knowing me as I do, I’m sure some randomness will creep in here as well.

Happy blogging!